Weddings at Saint Mary’s
In the Episcopal Church Holy Matrimony is the sacramental rite in which a woman and man enter into a life-long union, making their vows before God and
the Church, and receiving the grace and blessing of God to help them fulfill their vows.
It is required that one, at least, of the parties must be a baptized Christian; that the ceremony be attested by at least two witnesses; and that the marriage conform to the laws of the State and the canons, or official rules, of the Episcopal Church.
The canons of the Church require the man and woman to make the following declaration of intention before the service
We, desiring to receive the blessing of Holy Matrimony in the Church, do solemnly declare that we hold marriage to be a life-long union of husband and wife as it is set forth in The Book of Common Prayer.
We believe that the union of husband and wife, in heart, body, and mind, is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and, when it is God's will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord.
And we do engage ourselves, so far as in us lies, to make our utmost effort to establish this relationship and to seek God's help thereto.
The Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage, as found in the Book of Common Prayer (1979) of the Episcopal Church is the normal service used for weddings at Saint Mary’s. The Holy Eucharist is a central part of this liturgy and all baptized persons are invited to receive the Holy Communion of the Body and Blood of Christ. Members of other Christian denominations who are baptized and who receive the Holy Communion in their own congregations are warmly invited to share in receiving communion. Marriage is a sacramental rite, and as such, the content of the wedding service is under the supervision of the officiating priest. Within the liturgy the couple selects scripture readings (see below) and may ask family members or friends to serve as readers. If music is used, this is another area in which, under the supervision of the organist and music director at Saint Mary’s, a couple may help to shape the liturgy.
In addition to the Celebration and Blessing of a Marriage, those who have already been married legally in a civil marriage may wish to have The Blessing of a Civil Marriage.
Arranging for a wedding at Saint Mary’s
The main church seats 600 and is appropriate for any size wedding. The Lady Chapel can seat approximately 50 persons comfortably. Saint Joseph’s Chapel, also known as the Nuptial Chapel, (over the altar is a depiction of the wedding of Saint Mary and Saint Joseph) can be used for very small weddings of 20 persons or so. Music is usually not used for a wedding in a chapel.
Because of the very full liturgical life at Saint Mary’s, weddings must be scheduled well in advanced. The time of the year may be a consideration since our church is not air-conditioned.
As soon as you think you might be interested in having your wedding at Saint Mary’s, call the parish office and ask to speak with one of the priests or complete the application form below. Once the form has been received a priest will review it and call you. Once a date has been cleared and a deposit of $250 has been received, the officiating priest will arrange the first of several pre-marital conferences and answer whatever questions you may have about the service or its preparations.
Music
If the main church is to be used then music may be a part of the service. All music for weddings us under the supervision and direction of Mr. Robert McCormick, organist and music director at Saint Mary’s. Mr. McCormick is the usual organist for a wedding, but if he is unavailable he will obtain a substitute organist. A choir, a soloist or another musician is obtained through Mr. McCormick or with his consultation.
Flowers & Decorations
Saint Mary’s is an extraordinary space and needs very little ornamentation. If flowers are desired, two large arrangements may be placed on the High Altar. For a wedding that takes place on a Friday or a Saturday, it is assumed that flowers will remain in the church to be used for the services on Sunday. The newly married couple will be listed as donors for the flowers in the church bulletin on that Sunday. The church strongly recommends your using a florist that is accustomed to our space and can recommend several to you. Runners, whether of fabric or paper, are not used in weddings at Saint Mary’s. Bird seed, bubbles, flower petals and such things also are not used at Saint Mary’s.
Photography and Videography
Formal photographs of the wedding party can be taken, by arrangement with the church staff, before or after the wedding ceremony. Photographers and their assistants should be discreet and not draw attention to themselves. If the photographer or videographer is uncooperative, the officiating priest may ask him or her to leave.
Photographers and videographers should acquaint themselves with the natural lighting at Saint Mary’s well before the ceremony. Flash photography and/or video lights are not permitted in weddings at Saint Mary’s during any part of the service, including the procession and recession.
Photographers and videographers may shoot only from designated stationary positions on the floor of the church. Those who take pictures are not permitted to obstruct the central aisle or intrude into the sanctuary itself during the ceremony. They must abide by the flash/light policy in all circumstances.
Ushers should inform guests who bring cameras that they are not allowed to use flash or lights during the service.
We ask that the couple ensure that the professionals they engage adhere to these policies. Should these policies be violated by photographers or guests, the officiating priest may stop the service until the integrity of the service is restored.
Dressing for the service & pre-service photographs
Saint Mary’s does not have adequate space for the bride to change and so we recommend that all members of the wedding party arrive at the church dressed for the service. Remember that photographers are interested in taking as many photographs as possible—this is their business—and they will continue to press for “one more shot” and can cause you to be late. Please be disciplined with these people for the sake of your guests.
Rehearsal
The officiating priest will arrange a rehearsal with the couple. Typically, the rehearsal is held at 5:00 PM on the day before the wedding. Very small weddings may not require a rehearsal, but this decision is up to the officiating priest in consultation with the couple. It is expected that all members of the wedding party attend the rehearsal, unless excused by the officiating priest. The wedding license should be brought to the rehearsal. Rings, if they are to be used, also may be brought to the rehearsal and given to the officiating priest for safekeeping until the service.
Scripture Readings for Holy Matrimony
The following readings are particularly appropriate for use in the service. The bride and groom should read through the selections so that when they meet with the priest, they may select one Old Testament lesson, one Psalm, one Epistle reading and one Gospel reading. Non-scriptural readings are not used. At Saint Mary’s, all scripture is read from the Revised Standard Version of the Bible (not the New Revised Standard Version).
Old Testament Readings
¨ Genesis 1:26-28 (Male and female he created them)
¨ Genesis 2:4-9, 15-24 (A man cleaves to his wife and they become one flesh)
¨ Song of Solomon 2:10-13; 8:6-7 (Many waters cannot quench love) (That she and I may grow old together)
Psalms
¨ Psalms 67
¨ Psalm 127
¨ Psalm 128
Epistle Readings
¨ 1 Corinthians 13:1-13 (Love is patient and kind)
¨ Ephesians 3:14-19 (The Father from whom ever family is named)
¨ Ephesians 5:1-2, 21-33 (Walk in love, as Christ loved us)
¨ Colossians 3:12-17 (Love which binds everything together in harmony)
¨ 1 John 4:7-16 (Let us love one another for love is of God)
Gospel
¨ Matthew 5:1-10 (The Beatitudes)
¨ Matthew 5:13-16 (You are the light...Let your light so shine)
¨ Matthew 7:21,24-29 (Like a wise man who built his house upon the rock)
¨ Mark 10:6-9,13-16 (They are no longer two but one)
